Can't Sleep

So, here it is 1:07 AM and I am still practically w-i-d-e awake. I am not even tired. And it sux cuz I know that one or the other or both of the boys will be awake in a short 5 hours from now. Im almost thinking of staying awake and just "toughing it out" today, or "try" to go to sleep now and not have enough sleep.
Also, Coltin has a field trip on Friday- they are going to the Zoo. And I PROMISED him I would go with him. But Im kinda getting the feeling that I really do not want him to go. I told him I would go on the bus with him and he is sooo excited about that. BUT I dont have anyone to watch Conner for me(it would be like 5 + hours) and I can take Conner with us BUT then I would have to drive seperatley and then I wouldnt be on the bus with Coltin. Well I guess I could just take Coltin with me in my car. Maybe I'll do that. That way- IF anything does happen I would be right there with him. ( I guess I have this fear of my child growing up and being able to go to places without me) So sad. He is really excited to go to the ZOo too. (or else I would prob just let him stay home)
What would you do??? I know I'm going to have to let go of him one of these days, but does it have to be now?
Coltin will be attending Franklin next year and they have an all day kindegarten. Woohoo. He really needs it. He gets sooo bored at home(both before and after school)
I went and met with the Principal there and I agree with how they do things at Franklin and their disipline and everything. A lot of parents strongly DISagree with Franklins way of doing things, but I agree. Plus when Coltin is in school all day Conner quite possibly will be in speech therapy at the place Coltin goes to now. They will accept children with disabilties(speech or otherwise) @ age 2 years and 9 months. So only 7 months to go with that.
What will I do with all my free time?
I am seriously just rambling right now.
Christmas is my absolute most favoritest time of the year. Seriously. I dont even care if I dont have money( i mean i do, -for the childrens sake) but put money aside, I love the smell, the cool weather, the sounds, the lights, the magic, the cheerfulness, the family gatherings, hot chocolate in the mornings, fires in teh fire places, going up to the cabin( in a few weeks, woohoo) EVERYTHING about it. We are going to go get our tree this weekend, along with going down to the Temple and looking at all the thousands upon thousands upon thousands of Christmas lights. They are soo beautiful.
I love seeing the joyful and excited expressions on my boys faces when they see a train, "snow", a snowman, a christmas tree, Santa, presents etc. They make my life so happy. It's the best gift ever. I love my little family. Scared for the future, but taking one day at a time and living it to the fullest. ALWAYS making sure my children and husband know that I love them MORE than ANYTHING else in this entire world.
soooo far off the last subject i was just writing about- but does anyone out there watch The Biggest Loser? I love this show, but I absolutley CAN NOT stand VICKY!!! she needs to be voted off in the worst way possible. Seriously.
ta dah! the end of my ramblifications. I THINK i am going to TRY and get some sleep. now.